Cursed, a Clace child story
by elizabethbane
Summary: Lucie Herondale is the 18 year old daughter of Clary Fray and Jace Herondale. She is just in the middle of her Naming Ceremony (explained in Prologue), when something or someone interrupts. Demonic? Angelic? Whatever it is, how far will the powers go to keep Lucie from her heritage? And what will she do to get it? Slight COHF spoilers.
1. Prologue Introduction

**Prologue/Introduction:**

In this world Shadowhunters have a Naming Ceremony that is the final protection against demonic influence. After Sebastian Verlac, nobody can be too careful when it comes to safety in the mind. The young Nefilim will also receive the "sacred Mark" from a Silent Brother that they choose. This Mark will stay on them forever, show them as one of the Angel's warriors, and will even tie bits of the dead ashes together. It will represent who they are, and if it ever fades, the Shadowhunter can't get a new one, and they will be vulnerable.

In a sense, it's the last protection when everything else fails.


	2. I had done it

I stood in the center of the Speaking Stars. Everyone but the one silent brother who gazed down at me had left. This part was for us alone.

"_Do you promise to uphold the beliefs and ideals of the Nefilim?"_

"Yes, I will always put them first, even before my own life," I replied, my voice only shaking on the word "always". How was someone supposed to keep to _that_?

"_Will you give you're body to be burned and built into the walls and tunnels of the Silent City when you die?"_, another silent burning question, with another vow. "Yes, may my body be used to preserve the Clave forever," by the Angel this was taking long.

"_Then, Lucie Herondale, by all the laws, beliefs, and hopes of the Angel's people, I proclaim you a Shadowhunter and member of the Clave, by all the laws, beliefs, and lives of the Nefilim. Be ready to take your sacred Mark."_

As Brother Jerimiah pulled his stele from the parchment and shadow robes, all I could think was; "By the Angel. I've done it. I've suffered and pained and now I'll recieve the one thing that will make me part of the world. I've actually done it!"

But I hadn't. And little did I know that I would be suffering and paining more than ever.


	3. At Bay

**Forgot to mention in last 2 updates, all characters go to Cassandra Clare, exempt for ones that will be named at the end (chapter). The story line is mine, and thank you to anyone who bothered to read, because you have already showed you are better than the rest of humaity. Congrats, you know who you are. ;)**

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Suddenly the ground shook, two witchlight sconces fell from the grey ash walls, and even a golden circle on the obsidian floor cracked.

_"Something is wrong, " _Brother Jerimiah's voice whispered in my head as I jumped to my feet, which wasn't hard considering I was in ceremonial Shadoowhunter gear.

"Oh, you think!" Unfortunately I had inherited the Herondale looks, wit, and attitude. Which I made the most of with ginger hair, hieght, and -right now- angry ocean blue eyes. "We need to get out," I practically screamed, and we would've too, if not for the the large pile of rocks blocking the entrance, but, like most of my day, that wasn't the surprising bit.

_"By the Angel."_

By the Angel was right, because a statue of our beloved patron, which I remember being in a corridor below from a previous Silent City mission, was now blocking our path with hands pushed twards us, as if it could hold a Silent Brother and adult, almost, Shadowhunter at bay until we died.

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** I know, cliffy, but I'm still seeing if this story will actually make it in the world. Okay? **

**But I also want to know any good fan fics that I need to read, so please review and stuffs.**


	4. Skip if you don't like thanks

**If you're reading this then thank you, your reading this story and I love you.**

**Also, you might want to skip to next, unless you like reading these things. I never do, but I have to write it, so what the heck.**

**New prompts that I will be writing:**

**CoG didn't really happen, and Clary has a date with Sebastian, Jace is regretting not telling Clary how he felt.**

**Lucie was like Clary, only grew up thinking of herself as a Shadowhunter, family finds her and she has trouble accepting them.**

**Maggie (Lucie's younger sister) get's kidnapped and Magnus does ties to find her.**

**Yea, that's basically what I'll eventualy write, probably over the summer. But only if people read this one, so be fabulous and read!**


	5. Not to see me FAIL

Previous; there was a statue of Raziel, barring our path with arms held out, as if to keep us at bay until our deaths.

* * *

_"It's a sign,"_ Brother Jerimiah's silent voice penetrated my thoughts, even though he probably knew I had already grasped that and was moving on to what it could be a sign _of_.

"Yea, for some reason, someone doesn't want me as heaven's loyal servant. Odd, considering out of my parents three children, I am most certainly the most angelic." I sneered, trying to look tough, when inside, my blood was turning to ice.

The only response I got for this was _" We must leave, befoe the cavern seels us in."_

"Run," I asked, even though it was a given.

_"Yes, we run."_

So we ran, and tumbled, and slipped, and got banged on the head with massive pieces of nefilim ash and cavern rock. So much fun. But eventually, after almost getting beheaded twice, we emerged from the caves, and into the central greeting area. Luckily and Unfortunatley, we found my anxious family waiting. Just great, this day was getting better.

My thoughts were extinguished as soon as they came though, because of a small blood headed gold-eyed girl running headlong into my chest, yelling with a surprizingly powerful voice, "Sissy!" Ah, my little sister Maggie. She was named after Magnus Bane, who was actually my godfather, while James Cairstairs was hers. Family logic, right?

"Hey Mag." I would have said more, but I felt that my quaky voice would give me away as not the oh-so-perfect world saver I usually was. "Oh, god," I thought, "Is this what it means to be slightly normal?". Yikes.

"Lucie? Is something wrong? You two came out of there quick, and it looks as if some of the cavern has caved in." My real father, Jace Herondale, said. The worry was plain on his voice, but I couldn't force myself to explain. Not now. "What? Oh, nothing just a small earthquake or something. Maybe a demon finally figured out how to get in." Damn! I knew my voice would get me into trouble. Internally I was screaming for being an idiot, but only the still silent Silent Brother could hear.

_"It appears as if your daughter may be in slight danger. Something or someone doesn't want her to join heaven's ranks. Despite the fact that she is your eldest, and therefore most enlightened child." _ Everyone stared at my companion. I thanked him in my head.

Everyone in that circular cavern, my mother, father, aunt Isabelle and her husband Simon, Maggie, her god parents Jem and Tessa Cairstairs, along with mine, Alec and Magnus Bane. they were all here to see me put fully into the shadowhunter world, to see me become a member of the Clave.

They had come to see my triumph.

Not to see me _fail._

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**So, that is all I have actually written to be shared, so I will not be adding anything until I get at least 2 reviews, good or bad. But at least 2. **

**I have more in my head, and Lucie really wants to take the journey, but it's up to you. Choose wisely.**

**Keep reading, and send me prompts!**

**Also, be fabulous and I send you lots of glitter!**


	6. Betrayal

**Sorry for not posting in a while!, I was trying to get school stuff done, and it's really confusing. Hope whoever is reading this stays sparkly!**

***finger snap***

***readers covered in rainbow-change-color glitter***

**Now that was a sitution with a finger snap that needed clarification. **

***sighs at lame joke***

**(DISCLAIMER! I don't own characters, exept for Lucie, and Maggie, and thier names still slightly come from Cassandra Clare, I don't own the Mortal Instruments. )**

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**Jace P.O.V.**

Lucie had always been trouble. Stabbing a wall with a claymore when she was 5, playing with Clary's stele and writing perfect destruction runes on several vases and tables at 7, and, though this seemed almost personal, setting neiborhood (my wife insisted) houses on fire at ages 10 through 17.

But Lucie had never disrespected the Angels, or Heaven. She even looked like she could belong there with a small sharp face, Herondale blue eyes, ginger curls that fell like Medusa's snakes across pale strong shoulders. My daughter was tall, but despite being thin, she had an air that stated, "Stay away, or you'll get hurt."

That part of her personality was all her own, a combination of my wit and charm, Clary's sweetness and intelligence, plus a slight darkness combined with trickery that Lucie had made into her shield. She could insult, compliment, and sound loving, but the ones who knew her knew it was an act, most of the time. I had always felt she was like me in a way, closed off, but I had known what was wrong, Lucie had shown she didn't.

That had never stopped her from doing the right thing though. It was the fact that Lucie would kill her own family if she believed them to truly be in the wrong, which was why I loved her slightly more than Maggie. Maggie was almost exactly like Clary, with pale red locks, green eyes, and trustfullness written across he face. She could never go evil. Lucie on the other, much scarier looking hand, could.

Which was why I worried for her, because she was almost in the exact same circumstance as Sebastian, a person with immense power had pushed her away from her greatest dream, and I could see by my daughte's face, it was killing her. And in that moment, looking at her from the otherside of the stone chamber, I knew she was asking herself the same questions, _"What if the reason that kept her going was destroyed? Or even worse, turned to dark purposes? How many would die?"_

* * *

I started to wlk forward, ready to put my arms around the person I loved second in the world, ready to tell her everything would go fine, and that she would be a member of the clave in no time. But she stopped me.

"Dad, don't. I know what you're thinking, and I will deal with this by myself."

"Lucie, honey-", my wife started but she was cut off.

"NO! No. We aren't going to discuss this, I have made up my mind to find whoever did this and kill them. But first I will rest and go kill something else. If you want to talk, talk to someone who can actually listen."

Never before had her eyes been this full of hatred, never before had they burned with such intensity. It reminded me of when I was iving with Sebastian, and he had told me of his plan to conqure Heaven. His eyes had burned as well, _"But she's not like him. She could __**never**__ be like him. Never!". _I thought to myself, yet I was having doubts.

"Jace?" Clary had crossed the chamber to stand next to me, and even though I unconciously did it, I could still feel the betreyal in my daughter's saphirre orbs as she passed me to get out of the Silent City.

_The betrayal of when I pushed her mother behind me, to shield her._

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**Sorry if it's a bit short, I'm writing at 1 am in the morning. ;) **

**Hope you enjoyed, I certainly did! Oh and a shout out to the wonderful people who actually reviewed! Sorry for not nameing, but you know who you are, and it is you who actually made this story continue! Congrats!**

**Oh, and if this is a bit out of character for our beloved Jace, I apologise, but i was trying to make him sound a little more aged and thoughtful**

**Honestly, I have no idea.**

**Again, stay sparkly! **


	7. UPDATE

**Hi, sorry for not posting, and for not making the chapters as long as you want. But get over it. I will be trying to make longer chapters, which will requier more time, but that will be hard, considering the amount of traveling I'll be doing for the next few days/weeks. But I promise to have a new chapter up by the end of June. Yea I know, a long ways off, but it's either that or a short, slightly rushed, chapter. Your choice.**

**well not really, but you get my point.**

**I apologize for making it seem like I was yelling. **

**Oh, and thank you to all, especially those who will be named, for reviweing, favoriting, following, and best of all, READING!**

**isum0527**

**Gracekim1**

**Maddell**

**Patriotgirl **

**You are wonderful people. And now,**

**Stay glittery!**


	8. Not Your Fault

**Sorry for not updating in a while! I was busy with the end of school and stuff. But now I'm back, and sadly, I still don't own anything but my OC characters. EVERYTHING ELSE GOES TO CASSANDRA CLARE!**

**Now, on with the story!**

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**Lucie P.O.V.**

_'How could I have been so blind!' _I silently screamed at myself. All the signs had been there, I set things o fire, destroyed stuff, and basically made a mess of the situation wherever I went. 'But you always managed to do the right thing. ight?' Yea, the right thing in _my_ mind probably not in others. 'But a demon? How could you, you who has fought for heaven for so long, how could you be a demon?

"Well, I guess I'm screwed." I don't know why I said it out loud, I guess just to tell the Angel. If the basterd was even listening. I was walking among the graves, still too near the entrance of my previous humiliation for my tastes. I mean, seriously! My father was afraid of me, enought to shield my mom from my eyes, and then he had the indecense to say 'Sorry'! Sorry my ass, I was so close too!

"Dammit! Why Raziel? Why me? Hasn't my family gone through too much pain already?" I screamed "Can't you see that we just want to be normal! Or do you just want to keep on the family tradition of pain and suffering?"

Of course there was no response. As usual when I yelled at the sky. But I knew that _the great angel_ would never soil his precious feathers for a case like me, even if he had just prevented me from ever joining the society I was born into. 'Well see if I ever thank you ever again! God, I might just try and pull _out_ some of those feathers. Huh, see how the great fffing dickhead liked that!' I thought, even though I could have just said it out loud. Again, the jerk probably wasn't listening.

"Well, you at least you still have your class. I can't say the same for your other stuff." A snarky voice made me jump.

"Ah, Lewis, why am I not surprised you showed up at my moment of humiliation?" I replied, wih just as much sarcasam as my cousin. Lewis Lightwood, previously first on my most-want-to-kill-but-can't-kill list. "Let me guess, you're sad that you're being replaced for first in the most obvious perverted and idiotic competition. Well sorry, but you just can't faze people anymore."

"Oh Lucie, you know you're cute when you try and insult me. But we both know girl, that I'm the only one with an advantage in this relationship."

"You are? Wow, then I must have been delusional when I beat you every...single...time...we...fought. Oh, wait, then why did I get all the congrats and you jut lay on the floor out cold?" I reminded him, because there was only one person in the Institute who could beat me in any physical subject, and that was my father. "And, what relationship? Because I don't think one-sided crushes that will never work are called relationships." I added, just to get under Lewis' skin.

"Finally! You figured it out! Your crush for me is pointless. Even more so now that you'll be expelled from the Clave," the idiot said.

"Wrong choice of words bub." I growled, even adding in Wolverine's favorite word for effect. Then I attacked.

Quickly, I sprang and punched out with my fist, connecting with the bastard's nose. He screamed in pain, but I was too busy to listen. I tuned around so that my back was facing him and jabbed my elbow into Lewis' stomach making him double over. And for added pain, I lifted my leg and brought it hard down on his back, smiling as he collapsed in the grass next to a headstone. All done in less than a minute.

"Have I ever mentioned I hate you with passion?" Lewis asked, surprising me. He should have been groaning. Huh.

"Yes, and the same to you only with a murderous tenancy." I smiled back. "But if you ever talk to me about that again, you'll find your situation much worse."

"Yea, but in a while, why would I even speak to you. Huh?"

I brought my fist down again, but was stopped by a pale, rune drawn hand.

"Lucie, just stop." Simon Shadowhunter Lightwood, my sisters godfather, and our uncle. Also, coincidently, the protected idiot's father. Crap.

"No," I said defiantly "He was implying I would get expelled from the Clave. I won't stand back for that." I tried to attack again, only to feel my body freeze. By the Angel, God he was an annoying parent sometimes.

"Lucie, he's right this is wrong. And it isn't you."

"Why not? I mean I can't recieve my Sacred Mark, so what am I even doing in this gear? I'm not going to be a Shadowhunter anymore, so why can't I attack him?" My mouth had unfrozen.

"Because it's n-not your fault," My mother had finally spoken. "I don't know who's it is, but darling Lu, it's not your's." She used my childhood nickname, instantly calming me. "It's not your's."

'Not mine.' Those were the last words I heard before running.


	9. I can't say I'm sorry

**Sorry for not updating, I'm just going through some stuff recently and and this is now my new therapy. SO lets just go on with the story.**

DISCLAIMER: I DON"T OWN MORTAL INSTRUMENTS!

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**Lucie POV**

_Away_

It was all I could think. _Away, away, away. AWAAAYYY!_

Why did my life constantly get turned upside down? I mean, come on!

_'By the-no, remember it's God now. Not that traitor.'_ This was not getting me anywhere. I needed a destination. _'Hmm, where would my family not follow? The cemetery? No, Magnus would find me. The park? My dad sure as hell wouldn't go. But everyone else would. Dammit! I could go . . .No. They wouldn't suspect it, but how do I know that I won't breakdown? I won't.'_ I now know where to go, it's getting thee that's the problem.

So, I look to where I am. Not surprisingly, I'm only a little bit away from a bus stop. My feet tend to lead me to good places, most days. So I continue running, only slowing to give myself a breather. Hey, even almost invincible and sexy Shadowhunters need oxygen.

I reach the bus, and realize 1. I have no mundane clothes 2. I have no money for an actual ride and 3. I don't have a stele for removing my glamour because I couldn't take mine to the ceremony. Crap. Maybe I can just sneak on the bus when it comes.

Which is exactly what I did.

The ride was only two hours, but it felt like longer. I rode through the city of New York, and saw all the things the unknowing mundanes would ever see. Flying people with paper for wings, warlocks with horns, blue skin, and even animal parts. Fey that made small fireworks in the air with glittering fingers, and of course, the werewolves debating over Dumbledore vs Magnus Bane. I remembered when that had turned into an actual competition, with Magnus getting people to place bets. I once saw a vampire, hiding in the shadows with a 14th century ballgown spilling into the street.  
Sometimes I really pitied mundanes and their closed eyes.

Finally, the bus stopped at the entrance to Central Park, and I rushed off. Suddenly feeling hollow. What the hell was I doing?! _'You're running, remember?'_ Even my thoughts were unsure._ 'I know, I just don't want them to feel more pain.' 'It's okay, they'll understand.' _

So I walked. I walked to an invisible grave under the only willow in the park. Only select Nefilim could see it, Magnus had made sure of that. Most of our kind didn't even know that it lay here, not even the Silent Brothers. Definitely not them.  
It wasn't exactly against the law for Shadowhunter ashes to be buried outside the Silent City, but it was frowned upon. But the two girls in the grave had never bothered with caring about things like that.  
My aunts, Aline and Helen Penhallow. They had been killed by the greater demon Lilith, in revenge for something they did one upon a time. The two women had been the people I had first come out to about being bi, and Lewis had been the second. The bastard. Aline had taught me most of my weaponry, and Helen, how to deal with the fairies. I had loved them and they had died. They hadn't deserved it. Neither had I, or my family.

_'I guess I now know why I was driven here. It was you, wasn't it Raziel. Still mocking me, still making me suffer for crimes unknown. You pushed me to the graves of my fellows. "You who is great and wise, will forever have a heart of stone."'_

I reached for my pocket, bringing out the only thing I could. A pair of metal rings, one with a pattern of thorns, and the other engraved with mountains. I placed them on the stone, while reading the message it gave aloud. "Here lay Aline and Helen, two who dared to believe in love, even though it killed them." Then it had their birth and death dates. Had it only been four years? it felt like forty.

And it was time to say goodbye. "I'm leaving. Not just you, but everyone. And I wanted to tell you two specifically, because I know you'll pass on the message. Please listen, I can't say I'm sorry. I can't, even though I want to want to say it. I can't, and it's because there's nothing to be sorry for. We all knew this would happen, somewhere in our souls. We all knew that I was somehow evil. And that has cost us. We are stronger loved, but we are unbreakable without it. And I can't break. Not to Heaven. I won't. 'If the world started in sanity, I will gladly end it in madness.' Goodbye."

So I let my heart harden and break, as I walked away.  
There was one more person I had to visit, before my life crumbled away.

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**Raziel's POV**

I watched as the girl escaped the tunnel, feeling her fear and anger. I blinked, and she was frozen over a boy, her cousin perhaps, with the Daylighter and Warlock holding her back from the kill. This is what I was concerned about, what the thing inside her would do if provoked. I heard Clarissa speaking quietly, trying to sooth the girl. It worked, until the invisible bonds snapped. Then she was running away. I knew it.

"Damn that bastard angel!" Her insults actually stung a little, even though she should have realized that I wasn't at all bothered. Sometimes being an angel bothered though. I couldn't interact with the mundanes, the animals, or even my own children, the people who relied on me the most. It hurt to watch. So I blinked again, and now the ginger was saying something "-illed them." Oh, why was she reading the tombstone?  
She must have had a connection, and she was coming to say what had happened. But no, she only gave a message to the dead spirits. And she walked away, with a dark cloud surrounding her heart. 

_'We will meet soon, I promise. We will meet, and the girl you know as you will be gone.'_

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** Annnndd. . . another cliffhanger. **

**Please tell me what you are thinking! And, here's a question: If you could have one new ship in this story, who would it be?**

**RATE!**

REVIEW!

AND FAVORITE!

**I shall be telling you more soon, when I have at least one ship. (You ca add in characters! As long as they fit with the story!)**

**STAY SPARKLY AND PURPLE!**


	10. I'll suffer for you

**Hi! You have no idea how happy I am to be writing this! I found a library, so I can still write, just not that often. Man, life hates me sometimes. Grrr!**

**But on with the story, 'cause I promised blood!**

**Disclaimer: I DON"T OWN THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS! Or even some of my quotes. If I did, then there would be a lesbian couple between Izzy and Clare. **

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**Lucie P.O.V.**

There was only one place I would go now, before I left my city probably forever. _'I can't believe I'm thinking that! But. . .It is true, I guess. Ah well, I never did travel much, so this could put me somewhere good. Or even better, on the road to destroying that demon people call an Angel.'_

Yep, I was stable in some way at least. But as Tessa would say, 'There is sense in madness, one just has to look for it.' **(goes to William Herondale)**

Now, I just had to find my sense, or maybe it was that I had to find my madness and forget sense all together. That would probably work out better in retrospect. And besides, if I was some form of Demon, then madness will be the best path, right?

I would have gone on in my inner turmoil, but I was distracted by a skateboarder. He was sliding past on a flame painted board, and I hadn't been paying attention, so of course he knocked into me. Just great, another thing to add to a day of disappointment.

"Oh, sorry girl. Didn't you hear me calling?" He had been calling for me to move? Oh god, if my father or worse, Lewis had seen me! I'd never hear the end of it.

"Oh, no. I've been really distracted lately." I said, turning on every last ounce of charm I had. "Though honestly, I think that you could have stopped yourself in time." There goes the charm.

"Oh really? Well sorry for not being the average skateboarder and asuming that you could hear me."

I was trying to be nice, I really was. But this brunette over did it. "You're not? You had me so confused, but then again I shouldn't have been considering that I've seen a slug ride better than you!"

"Woa no need to go all flame on me. Seriously, put yourself out. Preferably now." He looked scared.

Wait. . .WHAT?!

Okay, several questions that I need answered, like now.  
1. How can this guy see me? 2. What is he, friend or foe? and 3. What the fuck did he mean by put myself out?!

Well, only one thing to do about the third, look down.  
Which I did. . .and you know what? I was on fire. Literally, there were blue flames emitting from my body and strangely, everywhere they appeared, there were small scales covering the skin. Or at least on my hands, because with the Shadowhunter gear on I only saw my hands.  
_'Hey!'_ that annoying little voice in my head piped up. _'Here's another thing to add to the "How you're a freak" list! Yay!'_ Grrrrrrrrrrr!

"Again girl, PUT YOURSELF OUT!" The bastard interrupted.

"Oh, well here's the thing you bastard, I CAN'T! So would you be nice and get off me before I use a seraph blade to get you off." I said, using a special tone that was usually reserved to warn Lewis before I nearly killed him. Good times.

It was well received, with the boy scrambling back, grabbing his skateboard on the way. "Wait, you're a _Shadowhunter_? But, then how are you on fire? That's insane!"

"I am, and yes it is, but I don't have time for you right now. So please just go away and I won't hurt you, little Downworlder." I got up, brushed dust of my butt, and tried to walk away smoothly, which was herd since I was still trying to figure out how I was covered in blue fire.

And, of course, the idiot had to follow me. "You just walking off? Hey, I'm talking to you!" He just didn't get it. "Hey, would you stop! I can help you!"  
That stopped me.

"What do you mean?"

"I know a guy, he can get that curse to stop."

"Who are you talking about?" I knew where this was going.

"Magnus Bane of course. Who else?" He said, smiling as if he had just saved the world. So sweet and innocent like.

"Oh, him? He's kinda my godfather."

Now it was the boy's turn to stop. "He's your what?"

"My godfather, plus my uncle. That guy he's married to is my dad's brother." I had no idea why I was doing this.

"Oh. Well never mind then. But then again, where else can you go?"

That was the real question wasn't it? Where else could I go? Besides her grave?

"I'm leaving the city actually. To find something."

"Want help?"

"No."

"Well I think you do," I had to admit, he was right. "So, I'm coming with you. I'm Gabe, a werewolf by the way."

"Can't believe I'm saying this, but sure. I'm Lucie. And before we leave, I have to get some stuff. And visit someone."

"Okay. Nice to meet you." He said as we continued walking, heading towards the trees.

* * *

I was actually enjoying the silence, not something I got often, but the moment was ruined when we got to my, our destination.

It was a simple piece, just an old oak tree that had been struck by lightning the year I was born. It used to be all charred and broken because people (mundanes) abused it, but in the last couple years Shadowhunters had been glamouring it to look like just another street lamp.  
So the tree was now sprouting, and in late summer, that meant that it's leaves were just starting to turn and the bark was healing from all the animals that had gotten to it.

"A peaceful place," she had said to me. "One with hidden secrets." My parabatia, Emera. Helen and Aline's adopted daughter who was proud of her mothers. We had always said that if we were't sisters we would be in love.  
And in the very end, we had been.

But that was the problem, we were parabatia, plus it just was't done. No matter what the previous generation had accomplished.

Now, under the "tree of secrets" there was a simple marking, not even a stone. Just a pair of outstretched angel wings on a piece of stone. With my personal message back to her.

"We are of the angels,but if it would let me freely love you, I would be of the devil. Beneath this tree of secrets, all is possible."

"Wow," Gabe spoke besides me. "Whoever wrote that must have been really in love. But why did you read it aloud?"

I hadn't realized I did.

"Well, I guess because I wrote it."

"Oh," Gabe looked like he wanted to be swallowed by the earth. Like her. "I'm sorry, I didn't think, I mean why else would you come here, or read that. I'm so very sad."

"You are," I smiled. "But it's okay, she died a couple years ago, so I should be over it."

"She? But I thought-"

"You probably thought right, but I came here to say something. So please don't interrupt."

"Okay." He looked concerned, but stepped back.

I faced the grave, getting ready for the last confession I would ever willingly make.

"Emera. Your name is painful, you know? Just wanted to tell you that, before things got serious. But I need to tell you everything, even if you already know." I gulped.

"I don't know what to do. I really don't. I'm seriously contemplating suicide just to see you yelling at me for taking the easy route. But I want our reunion to be happy so I'll stay here and suffer. Just for you. Emera, something's wrong. When you died I thought it was my fault, because I was your parabatia and I didn't save you. But now I think it was because I'm a demon. Or at least part demon." Now I knelt in front of the tree, as if praying to someone who could help. "I know you could never blame me, and I don't really blame myself. But there's still the bit on me being demony, which I'm going to solve. Just know that I love you, but I'm not coming back."

Then I stood again, and leaned against the bark of a tree who knew me. "I love you forever." I whispered.

Then motioned with my hand to my friend werewolf, and walked away, humming the song she had whispered back.

I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face—it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
Your voice—it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_  
_

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I've been alone all alongWhen you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me

...me, me, me.

* * *

**Okay, a long and confusing chapter. And no blood, but that will come, eventually when I can fit it in.**

**So romantic ideas? I'm happy to hear any and all feedback about our heroine, and possible hero.**

**I love you all, and for those who were waiting for this, I hope you were't disappointed!**


	11. There's no way in hell

**I said I'd update today, and so I'll update today. WOOOOOOOO! **

**Sorry, I'm just really really really really once-more-for-emphasis really happy because I'm now a year older. It's a big thing with me. But I still have to suffer. (school)**

**I own nothing that Cassandra Clare has wrote. **

* * *

Gabe's POV

Lucie and I walked away from the grave, and I heard a sniffle. Was she. . ._crying_? But then again, even the strongest have to cry sometimes, otherwise it's unfair.

I couldn't believe that she let me come along on this. . .whatever it is. She seems like someone who'd rather eat her own eyes than accept help from someone, and trust me when I say, that is _not_ a pretty sight. Especially for that reason.

I knew she didn't like me there, she definitely wasn't fond of the fact that I knew she had been in love with her parabatia, who also happened to be a girl. But even if she had said no a thousand times, or even a billion, I would have followed her anyway. Lucie was just that stunning.

I looked down at myself, red T-shirt with _'I'm not on fire, I am fire'_ in black block letters, black jeans with rips in the knees, and finally my red converse, and I knew I couldn't compare to her sleek and seductive figure. Her sapphire eyes, amber hair, and pearl skin were all more beautiful than the jewels I had compared them to, or at least in my eyes they were.

"Yo, why are you staring at me?"

"Just because I want to."

"Well stop it, it's creepy," she glared at me. "Besides, we'll be at my house in a minute."

"You're house?" that was confusing.

"Yea," she said like it was obvious. "It's the only place where I can get mundane clothes, my weapons, and some other stuff."

"More memorabilia?"

"No, just something I can't live without." Her sly smile told me that I'd get nothing else.

* * *

We arrived at a brownstone two story, with the classic gate, yard, and for some reason, a rope ladder dangling from one of the top windows to the ground. Odd.

"I expect that's your's." I said.

"No actually, it belongs to the _other _shadowhunter girl who happens to like sneaking out whenever possible."

Wow. sarcasm was unexpected.

"What? Nothing to say?"

"No."

"Than stop wasting time and lets go!" She ran to the ladder and started climbing, staying far from the view of the door. Again, odd. But I followed her lead and was soon looking into a window at a red painted room.

It was elegant, red walls, a dark hard wood floor, three bookcases, and weapons cabinet. Plus a dark wood dresser, but no mirrors. Anywhere.  
"You got a problem with seeing yourself?"

"No," she smiled again. "I just know I'm sexy. And I don't want to get tired of looking."

"So you think you'd get tired of looking at something with no way to improve it?"

"You think I _need_ improvement?" Now Lucie wandered over to the cabinet, peering through the glass doors.

I gulped. "Ugh. . . no?"

"Thank you! Now can you get my bag?"

"Huh?"

"Under the bed. . ." again, obvious.

I scrambled through the window and went to the red and. . .glittery bed. It was like the rest of the room, plain, but tasteful and I noticed tha the wall next to it had anime drawings everywhere. "What's with the glitter?"

She looked over from the dresser, "Oh, that. My godfather thinks I should wear more of it and just randomly sprinkles it in here."

"Oh."

"Yea." now it was a wistful look, like she was going to miss something.

"Hey, did you draw these?" I pointed to the anime pictures. "Cause they're really good."

Now Lucie laughed. What was with her and changing emotions? "No. Oh by the bastard no." Bastard? What? "I can't draw to save my own life. Not that I'd need to, but no those aren't mine."

"Then who. . .?"

"My sister's are the sweet ones, my parabatia the violent ones." There were a lot of the latter. "And my mother, the really really good ones."

Wow. I'd heard that the girls in this family had good drawing skills, but this was incredible. There were some sweet little angels, a couple cats, and even some of her family. But the most popular was devils, or devils and angels.  
"You got something against angels?"

"No, I just never was one. Notice the devils most commonly have light hair and my scars. The angels have dark hair and an Asian look. That's because Emera was adopted from China," again, there was a small but beautiful smile. "But I'd rather not talk about it 'cause I have packing to do."

"You're leaving?"

"Yea, I thought that was obvious."

"You know I have pack responsibilities right?"

"You know that I didn't plan for you to come right?" She used my words back at me. It stung, but then again I knew that she hadn't.

"Not what I meant."

"Then wha-"

"The accords. They require me to help any Nefilim who happen to be in need of it. And before you say anything, you admitted to needing help. So I am coming with you."

Lucie looked like she wanted to protest, but then thought better of it and her mouth shut, and she turned back to the dresser. I took this as my que to grab the black duffel bag from below the bed, and placed it on the bed.

"Okay, move."

I did, and she placed about four different changed of clothes in the bag. Shorts, jeans, tanks, and cargo pants. Plus a pair of converse, sweater, and leather boots, all of these were either a shade of red, black, or silver. Then a pile of weapons including an electrum whip, sword, throwing daggers, and bow and arrows. Finally a nook, and five books besides that. But it was like Harry Potter, the bag's size didn't change.

"Magic bag," was supplied before I even opened my mouth. "Now can you turn around for a moment? I need to change."

"Uh, sure." And I turned my back to look at the drawings , apparently the only personal things in the room, besides the obvious coloring. There were some where the angels (these were't Asian) were getting stabbed. A couple where that happened to the devil. And there was one, at the middle of a giant swarm, which had a devil in black ripped shorts, ripped fishnets, a grey shirt, and black vest was chained and reaching towards an angel with black hair, and white dress who was held back by ribbons. Their hands were nearly intertwined and the restraint on both was broken. There was no back ground.

"You can turn around now." a slightly annoyed voice said behind me, breaking the drawings spell. But when I turned again, I was thrust under another one.  
Lucie was wearing a black tank top, with red bra showing through a little. Black skinny jeans and combat boots accompanied it with a dark brown black army jacket. I noticed a knife and stele sheath were attached to her belt, both occupied. She was bad ass, sexy, and probably very dangerous. But I was going to kiss her anyway.

"Wow. And here I was, thinking dogs didn't drool." Or maybe not. "Gabe? Do you need anything?"

This got me thinking, did I need anything? Other than a trip to the abandoned police station I called home and maybe a cat scan, no. Which I told her.

"Uhh. . .no. Well I do need to get my emergency bag, you know for if I ever find myself leaving on a quest to help some one in need."

"You actually have a bag packed for this sorta thing?"

"Yep." I did actually, only it's original purpose was if I ever needed to get out of New York quick.

"How long will it take to get it?"

"Just ten minutes from here."

"Okay, just don't tell anyone where you're going, and meet me at the space under the bridge in an hour."

"Why an hour? More good byes?"

"No, I just wanted," here she stuttered. "I just wanted, just, just one more hour in my home."

"I understand So, under the bridge in a hour?" It felt like we were going on a date, which in a way, we were. The date of our leaving our homes and not coming back, or at least not coming back without scars.

"Right." she said and walked over to the window. I followed.

"You know there's no way in hell we'll come back sane?" she laughed again.

"Why else would I want to go?"

And we both jumped out the window.

* * *

**Sorry if the chapter is boring, and sorry that it's late, I just couldn't get Gabe's feelings to sound right.**

**Sooooo LOVE INTEREST ANYONE? **

**On this story we now have a list of 3:**

**Lewis**

**Gabe**

**Unknown girl in the future.**

**WHO WILL IT BE?! Du Du DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHH!**


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